MUSINGS

The Zen of Mowing

2006-07-12T21:20:00.000-07:00

Tonight I engaged in an activity that I’m sure was shared by many of the millions of homeowners in this country. I mowed my lawn. Now I truly love to mow my lawn. I know that may sound strange to some of you and I can here the wisecracks about how this fulfills my primal urge to dominate my domain or how the use of power tools is an pathetic attempt by men to compensate for something they are lacking. I guarantee you that mowing does neither. Those things I save for my 12cc gas powered weed whacker. No, mowing has a much more refined purpose that I finally discovered tonight.

Mowing has taken on a somewhat different characteristic this summer. You see, I received an iPod for my birthday this year and have discovered the wonderful world of podcasting. I have about a dozen programs that I download on a regular basis, mostly news and politics, and I have thoroughly enjoyed listening to these as I mow. There is something quite satisfying about learning about things such as governmental corruption and Iranian President “I’m-a-damn-nut-job” and his nuclear yearnings while at the same time chopping the heads off of innocent blades of grass. It just seems fitting.

However tonight, for some reason, I didn’t grab my iPod when I went to mow. It was in the midst of my stroll through my lawn, hearing the drone of the mower, smelling fresh cut grass, that it hit me. Mowing is meditation. It is the modern American version of the Zen rock garden. You know, the rectangle spaces that they fill with small rocks and pebbles and then put a boulder in the middle. Then they take a rake and make various geometrical patterns in the rocks, working their way to the boulder in the middle, where they sit and meditate. The process and the product are said to be quite meditative.

I realized how very similar mowing is to this concept. I am making geometrical patterns making my way to the swing set in the middle of my lawn and once I finish I will sit on my deck and meditate with a 12 ounce beverage (probably Pepsi). When all was said and done I realized the allure that mowing holds for me. It is one of the few activities in my life that is mindless and repetitive enough to afford me an opportunity just to think. Think about things that are happening, things I want to happen, things that are bothering me and things that are good. I can have creative thoughts, spiritual thoughts, or just plain weird thoughts. And when I am done I have something that looks nice.

This has been missing this summer because I have been filling my mind with information instead of trying to process all the things of my life. Everywhere around me is activity and music and various other stimuli that inhibits this meditative state. There is one other place in my life where I pause long enough to relieve the urge to think, but that place is usually reserved for reading.

I don’t know if all this means I will stop using my iPod whenever I mow. I don’t think so. But it did awaken me to the need I have to be unplugged and alone with myself inside my head.

Week Number 1

2006-06-29T20:49:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe but baby boy is already 1 week old. Where does the time go? I remember the day he was born just like it was...last Wednesday.

Well, the adjustment has started and, for the most part, we are doing well. Iceman is a proud big brother who thinks it is cool when he can carry his brother from one room to the next. He is feeling somewhat limited in his capacity to help out. The other day he was carrying little man around while he was crying and he asked, ever so earnestly, "Mom, can I breast feed him this time". We had to have a little "talk". No Grandma, the "THE talK". Just a talk about the fact that he does not have a breast.

Princess has a very important task as well. Due to the fact that all the baby clothes are in her dresser, she gets to pick out the clothes each day. Which makes her feel VERY special. I am glad that she has this diversion as she was starting to want to pick my clothes out each day. I am not sure exactly how to take this but I do see my future when her teenage years arrive.

Mom and baby are also doing well. We did have a bought of jaundice and not gaining enough weight, but we seem to have that figured out and are doing much better. Our main concern now is how long to let him sleep at night before we wake him up to feed him. Nice problem to have with a newborn.

I will leave you with a picture of Little man's take on bathtime.

Isn't he beautiful?

2006-06-22T20:32:00.000-07:00

I won't write a lot because I am afraid this won't work. If it does, this is my beautiful baby boy. Things are going great and both Mom and baby had a great day. Well, I take that back. Baby got circumcised today and, as a male, I cannot in good conscience say that he had a good day. So I say he had as good a day as he could given the "circum"stances.

I hope this works.

IT'S A BOY!!!

2006-06-21T20:16:00.000-07:00

The time has finally come! At 4:30 p.m. today Ayden John Mitchell came into this world. We were at the hospital at 6:30 a.m. and the doctor started the drugs for inducement at around 8:00. They really didn't start to kick in until around 2:30 when the doctor broke the bag of waters. Then the fireworks started. The contractions got quite severe and my Wife said she wanted an epidural. It took the anesthetia lady about 30 minutes of trying until she finally admitted that she was not able to get it in. She did manage to get an interthecal in, which is a step below an epidural but with similar effects, but it really didn't kick in until after the baby was born. So basically we (when I say we I don't really mean "we") had this baby the natural way. My wife did awesome!

The baby is absolutely beautiful with hair that looks blonde and almost curly and a wonderful complexion. He cried at first before they put him under the heat lamp but we haven't heard much out of him since. Even when they stuck him for his blood test he only whimpered a little. However, I could tell that once he figures out the efficacy of the infant wail, he will be able to to belt it out with the best of them.

I will try to post some pictures tomorrow but I am quite tired right now so I am going to sleep.

Nesting?

2006-06-17T20:53:00.000-07:00

Well guess what my Wife did all day today? You guessed it, she cleaned like a woman possesed. Of course, when I asked her "Honey, are you nesting" she patently denied it. It was done all in the name of the people that will be coming to our house in the next week (after our Wednesday induction) to see the baby. However, she later admitted to me that when Iceman was born, she cleaned like mad on Saturday, celebrated fathers day on Sunday, and had a baby on Monday. Could we be looking at a repeat?

The children are both very excited about the new arrival. Iceman wants it to be a boy, of course, but he wants it to be a 9 year old boy so he can have someone to play with. Princess is convinced that it is going to be a boy but, as she told her Sunday School teacher, she is going to call it Fred and put dresses on it. (do you suppose that's what happened to Boy George?) I don't think either are quite prepared for the adjustment this new life will bring.

I on the other hand do know the adjustment it will bring and I find myself feeling a little guilty about my emotional state. YOu see, I am facing this birth with a bit of melancholy. I love both of the children I have right now so much that I don't want them to have to share the spot light. I dread the times when I have to tell them "Daddy can't play with you right now because I have to take care of your brother/sister". I fear that I won't be able to find the right balance and one of my precious babies will talk about me with their therapist years from now as the reason for all their nuerosis.

But even with all these thoughts I can't wait for this little one to arrive. Babies are truly amazing in the way that they grow and learn. In the way that they eat like that little bit of milk is the greatest thing in existence. The way that they twitch and grimace when they sleep. The way they wake up every 4 hours for a little attention and daddy drinks coffee like it's the greatest thing in existence.

Life will never be the same again.

T minus 7 days and counting

2006-06-14T20:40:00.000-07:00

As the time draws near the fact that we are actually going to have a third child is getting more and more real. Technically it has always been real, I am just finally coming to grips with this fact. We purchased a bassinet at a garage sale and we have a pack of diapers and an outfit to bring the bundle of joy home in. Actually we have two outfits, one pink and one blue, however one will be returned to Target late next week.

Clothing this child has become somewhat of an issue. My wife went on a mission to find all the baby clothes that we have stockpiled from our previous children. Yes, I said "stockpiled" because at the this point I am sure we could outfit a toddler army. Knowing this we thought we were set on baby clothes. However, we realized that we must have either given away or goodwilled all of our baby clothes. You see, we didn't realize that it was physically possible for us to have another child and needing this clothes again never crossed our minds. I am positive that we must having gotten rid of the last bit of clothing last October, right before...well, you know.

Please don't regard this as a plea for baby clothing. We have plenty of friends that have had children in the past two years that I sure the child won't be naked for long. It is just an example of God's sense of humor.

As big of surprise as this one was, we are very much looking forward to this new life. I have had band mom's say to me "It is so much fun to have 3 kids". I am sure it will be. Those of you that know me know that children are one of the great passions in my life and I embrace the opportunity to pour myself into another little one.

The Joy of Teaching

2006-06-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

It has been said that the three best reasons for being a teacher are June, July and August. While I can't totally agree with that, I do derive great pleasure from making music with my students, it is a great perk to the profession. This week has really underscored that for me. I was at home for most of the day with my family and the only time I went out of the house was to take Princess to her final rehearsal for her first dance recital. (Pictures are forthcoming) Other than that I had nothing planned to do. It was actually kind of a disconcerting feeling for me as I kept having pangs of anxiety, feeling as if I was forgetting something. But when we went to the splash ground and watched the kids play in the water and then came home and had ice cream on the deck, I new summer had truly begun.

There are a few responsibilities that I have to wrap up, but my hope is to be as unencumbered as possible so as to totally enjoy being at home. My great fear is that this summer will pass by all too quickly. I know that I need to embrace it while it is here and enjoy every moment.

And a quick baby update, my Wife had an ultrasound today and the baby measured almost 37 weeks. We are (actually, she is) scheduled to be induced on June 21st and we are hoping that by the 22nd we have a new family member. (We have heard horror stories of people being induced and labored for 24 hours only to be told to go home and come back in a week) We don't know what it is yet but we will be happy no matter what.

More later.

Oops! Wrong Blog

2006-05-30T12:46:00.000-07:00

That last entry was supposed to go on the blog I keep for my band kids, kearneybands.blogspot.com. Not that it would be very interesting for anyone not in the band as it is basically news and information that they need to know. I started this in the hopes that I would never again hear the comment "but I didn't know - no one ever told me". It didn't work.

Chicago Here We Come!!!

2006-05-19T12:50:00.000-07:00

I am so excited! The time has almost arrived for the Kearney High Bands to take Chicago by storm. The music is all prepared, the plans are all in place and we travel next week.

A couple of house keeping things need to be mentioned that are VERY IMPORTANT!!!

1. We need each student to fill out a form stating what presciption medications they are taking. On school sponsored trips, certain medications need to be administered by a school official as per state law.

Once we get the sheet returned to us we will call you if your child IS NOT ALLOWED to self-administer.

PLEASE GET THESE SHEETS BACK TO US AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. Thanks for your help in this matter.

2. We will be leaving 2 hours earlier than stated on the itinerary. The reason for this is to give kids more time at the zoo to see the sights and stretch their legs after 13 hours on a bus.

The new schedule is as follows;

Thurs. May 24th

10:30 p.m. Meet at the Kearney High Auditorium for a short meeting

10:45 load busses

11:30 Leave for Chicago.

Please share this information with as many people as possible so that we can make sure that everyone is informed.

Thanks and happy traveling.

I'm Back

2006-05-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

Wow!! November 15th is the last time I had a quite night at home? I know I have been busy but I didn't realize that it had been that long. I look at that date with a slight bit of amusement because it wasn't too long after that that, during my quite time in the morning, my lovely wife sat down next to me with a grin on her face and a pregnancy test in her hand. I guess the quite nights will get fewer and further between.

We are now 34 weeks along are are looking at increasing our nest from 4 to 5. This has been an interesting pregnancy. The first two we tried so hard for and this one just sort of "happened". Due to previous health conditions it should not have been physically possible for us to get pregnant. We praise God for this miracle. But because of the ease with which this happened it has lacked some of the excitement as the others. I feel guilty about this but I can't deny that it is the truth. I know once I see that sweet little face that this feeling will completely disappear, and that thought starts to get me excited.

Then there is the issue of naming this child. The first two names we picked out the first year we were married. We only picked out two, one for a boy and one for a girl, and thought that was all we would ever have. Now we are faced choosing the perfect name from the millions of names out there. And let me tell you, it is not easy for a teacher to choose a name. Many names tend to have "baggage" related to problem students we have had. I won't go into any details so as not to offend anyone, but believe me, it's true.

I am looking foward to this child. I am not taking classes or working this summer so I will have lots and lots of time to spend with the family. I am so looking foward to that. I will try to post on a more regular basis and keep you all up on what's happening.

Oh yeah, and I got an ipod. Podcasting rocks.

Quiet night at home

2005-11-15T19:38:00.000-08:00

At first blush this may not seem to be a "blog-worthy" entry, but when you consider that this is probably the first night in at least a month when all four of us have been at home together with nothing to do, this is a banner evening. Iceman didn't have any homework. Which is a minor miracle considering last night he had about 2 hours of studying to do. Now, before you get your undies in a bunch and start calling his school, this was not the evil plan of a 3rd grade teacher gone awry, this was the result of taking mental vacations to Pluto and talking to the girl in the next desk.

To make the deal even sweeter, it was cold and very windy outside so we had soup for supper. Soup = easy preparation and easy clean up. Which means we had at least an hour and a half to play.

This time was filled with listening to the Princess sing (at the top of her lungs, no less) "I am threeeeeeee, and I am freeeeeeeeee, to belieeeeeeeeeve!!!!" while making original crayon drawings. I also had to make a run to for laundry detergent and the closest place was the dollar store. This brought great excitement from Iceman who quickly rushed to get his wallet and tag along. One of his favorite places in the world is the dollar store. A utopia of c-r-a-p that fits neatly into an eight year old's budget. He was slightly disappointed that he wasn't able to find anything to buy due to the fact that it was 5 minutes before closing and his crap-detector wasn't working that fast.

The evening was concluded with a "birthday party" in the "park", which was actually the bed. It was an elegant party with disney princess plates and cups and imaginary cake, ice cream, rootbeer, coffee and milk. The problem was we could never eat our cake because every time we tried to take a bite we were informed by the princess that we needed to pray. And so she prayed...and prayed...and prayed. All of you reading this should consider yourself sufficiently blessed. And finally it was all over when Iceman broke into his fake burp routine and the princess melted into a pool of hysterics. Great fun!

After a long evening playing and having a good time I figured it must be at least 10:30, but a glance at the clock proved it to be only 9:15. So here I am. Sharing the news with all of you. I hope to have many more nights like this.

Bye all.

I'm still here

2005-11-02T19:52:00.000-08:00

OK, OK. So it's been a few weeks since I have had an entry. I admit that I have been a little lax but what I have realized is that there are two key ingredients that are necessary to be a successful blogger. The first is time and the second is mental energy. Both of these ingredients have been quite sparse in my life for the first quarter. I blame marching band but it is over now so hopefully these entries will be a little more frequent.

Marching band is over but life has not slowed down much. My first Saturday that I didn't have to travel I did nothing else but travel. But this was strictly for pleasure. We went to Fremont to see my family and to see my niece in her first musical. Now I don't know if the Emmy Awards have "villager" category, but if they did there would be no competition. She was fabulous, and I think she had a little fun being in a production.

Monday was of course Halloween and it started off for us about 6:00. I took a little pink princess and a Jedi Knight around the neighborhood for their annual sugar fix. It was a rather treacherous journey as a long cape and plastic high heels caused many spills (both bodily and candily).

About 7:00 we headed out to the annual Bibleland Carnival, a local event that gives kids an alternative to prowling around the streets after dark. It was much fun and the kids had a great time. I stayed to help clean up after the event ended at 8:30. It was amazing to me that an event that attracted over 2,000 people and involved hundreds of volunteers came down to about 8 people to clean it all up. I got home about 10:30 but I was really glad I stayed.

Tuesday evening brought the first jazz band concert of the year, which went very well. The wife and kids stayed home to recover from the previous night and as Iceman did his homework, the Princess played school teacher. She was a very dedicated teacher and when her meeting with "Pete's Mom" ran a little long she did what any good teacher would do. She pooped her pants. When her mother asked her why she did it her only response was "I was talking to Pete's mom".

The end of the week is looking good. Nothing to do tomorrow, nothing on Friday, but on Saturday I have to...No, wait...Nope, nothing to do then either. Looks real good to me.

Love to you all.

Chapter 2

2005-08-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

Due to popular demand, I will tell both of you how the story ended.

My babydoll cried for 3 or 4 minutes while I rubbed her back. Eventually the crying died down to a whimper and she rolled back over, snuggled up to me and went to sleep...until I got up. She then woke up and laid in my bed for the next hour watching me type on the computer. All the time making comments like "Daddy, watch this", "Oops, I tooted", "La, La, La, Daddy I'm singing. Daddy? DAADDY!". I would like to say it was very endearing, but it wasn't.

There was a reason for the crying however. We found out a 5 am the next morning when she woke up and started a puke/poop fest for the next few hours. Unfortunately I had to be to work and couldn't stay and help. Evidently the virus she had last week hasn't completely passed. My wife took her into the doctor and she has had nothing but cheerios and gatorade all day. She actually cried when we sat down to eat our supper of chicken and mac and cheese and she found out she couldn't have any. We did cave and let her eat some mac and cheese. I hope that doesn't come back to haunt us.

Oh the things to come

2005-08-22T20:10:00.000-07:00

I had somewhat of an epiphany tonight. I came to the realization that my princess is a girl. Now before you think that I am totally off my rocker or that I slept through an entire semester of biology in college, let me explain.

You see, I was home alone with the kids tonight and we did all the normal night stuff. Bath, teeth brushed, story, and to bed. Iceman went down first and went down faily easily. Then it was bedtime for the princess. She always likes me to lay with her as she falls asleep and I always happily oblige. This is a precious time where we can talk, give back rubs, sing songs or just snuggle. This is what I was expecting tonight as I stretched out on her pastel yellow sheets and started a soft back rub. As we were lying there I heard a little snuff, you know, the sound your nose makes when you breath air quickly through it. When Iceman was little we used to do this as a game. He would snuff, then I would snuff, then him, then me, and so on. (It really was a fun game, no really it was) When I heard this sound from my little girl I thought it was time for a little bedtime nose game and so I snuffed right back. I heard another and I snuffed back again. And then the third snuff...

It was then the light bulb hit me square between the eyes. On my third snuff echo, my sweet little doll baby turned her back to me and melted into a pool of tears. I asked what was wrong and sobs were her only reply. (why does all of this seem so eerily familiar) Of course I realized that those intial snuffs were not the opening ceremonies of the nasal olympics but the initial evidence of a looming emotional crisis. And then I realized that this sobbing form before me was not just a female child but indeed was a little girl. This coming with all the emotional complexities that being female implies. (great, I was just starting to get the big one figured out, and now there are two of them)

I thought I had a few years before all of this started but evidently not. What this means is that, as a Daddy, it is my responsibility to be sensitive to these little needs. Of course, I could be hallucinating and maybe she just didn't want to go to bed, but it's a good heads up none the less.

It has begun

2005-08-19T20:37:00.000-07:00

The hot temperatures and sunburns, the blisters and sore lips, the long days and sweaty teenagers of band camp were like a walk in the park compared to what started today. That's right, early morning band. I got a little philosophical as my alarm went off at 4:45 a.m. Ok so I lied, I didn't get philosophical, as a matter of fact I barely got up. Early band starts at 7:00 but as one of the directors I feel it is my obligation to be there by at least 6:30. It isn't so bad in September but after a month and a half of getting up early, starting rehearsal before the sun comes up (you gotta love daylight savings time), and marching the kids around in temperatures that can dip below freezing sometimes (once we had to scoop 6 inches of snow off the yard lines so we could rehearse on the day before our state contest) early morning band gets a little old. You know as I think of it, this sounds a little like techniques that cults could use to brain wash their supplicants.

Mind you, I am not complaining. I love marching band. There is nothing more exciting than seeing a large groups of well trained musicians moving around the field and blowing their brains out through their horns. It is a total rush. I am just finding that the older I get the slower I hop out of bed in the morning. One of the main thing that keeps me going is knowing that when I arrive at school there will be 230 dedicated, motivated teenagers waiting there for me.

My Week at Camp

2005-08-16T20:52:00.000-07:00

I was feeling a bit like I was in the hinterland without a internet connection last week. I did take my laptop and recorded some thoughts at the end of each day.

This is rather long but here goes.

Royal Family Kids Camp

8-7

Well Sunday is here and I am off to camp. It did not come without trials, though, and today was one of the most stressful of my life. It all started last night when, at 1:00 a.m. I finished packing and on my way to be I stopped to kiss my kids. When I entered Isaacs room I heard a strange noise, a static sound with a high pitched ring. I thought it was the radio but the radio was off and as I listened a little closer I realized it was the sound of water running. I realized then that I had forgotten to shut hose off 12 hours earlier. No problem, I thought. A little extra on the water bill and a part of the lawn gets a good drink. I went outside to shut it off and was horrified when I realized what was causing the high-pitched ringing. It was the water from the hose filling up the egress window well. For those of you who have never had an egress window it is a deep window well that is used as a fire escape from the basement and evidently they hold a lot of water as well. I shut the water off and ran downstairs, fearing the worst. My fears were realized when I discovered that the toy room in our basement squished when I walked across it. Naively I put the de-humidifier in the room and figured if I let it run for a few days it would dry out.

This morning I went to church and ran into a friend of mine who lays carpet for a living and he painted a much darker picture of the situation. I needed ot pull up the carpet and replace the pad underneath. OK, no problem. I will have about 2 hours before I leave and if I hurry I can get the kids fed, tidy the house up, finish packing, and at least pull the carpet back.

I was driving home from church when all of a sudden the vehicle was filled a strange sickeningly sweet smell that can only mean one thing. I look down at my temperature gauge and sure enough, my car was overheating, I had blown radiator hose. I really don’t need this right now. I was able to limp the car to about 6 blocks from my house and then the kids and I hoofed the rest of the distance. So now I have an hour and a half to do all those things and take coolant down to my car and see if I can make it home and call someone to fix the carpet tomorrow so that my wife can have the toy room for the kids.

I am happy to report that I got all of those things accomplished. However, when I was loading up my stuff in the vehicle of a friends car (I have no way of getting around now so I had to call for a ride) I kicked a step with my big toe and bent the nail halfway back. OK maybe I should lock my self in a padded room for the next 24 hours.

Well to make a long story even longer, we finally arrived at camp and I started to settle down. We had a meeting, got our rooms set up, and had dinner. In the evening we had a church service and one of the pastors from a local church came out and spoke and then we had communion. Pretty standard stuff for church camp except for the pastors message. One of his main point was that there are things we have to let go of if we want to be used by God. And then he said (no joke this is really true), “some of you have things that happened even today that are causing you a great deal of stress. You need to pray and trust God that they will be taken care of so that your focus can be on the kids that are coming tomorrow”.

So guess what I did.

Tuesday 8-8

Today was the day the kids arrived. The morning was spent finalizing preparations and getting everything ready. It was a lot of work but was fairly relaxing but I couldn’t help thinking that it was kind of like the calm before the storm. At around 11:30 am the kids arrived on a bus to the sounds of the camp theme song and all the counselors holding signs with the kids names on them yelling and screaming their fool heads off. Several of the kids commented that it was a really cool way to arrive at camp.

Once they were here and unpacked and fed we headed off to the afternoon activities. Swimming, fishing, crafts, and games kept our afternoon busy and all the kids were having a great time. As I watched these young faces smiling and laughing and thoroughly enjoying themselves it struck me that these kids have seen things and experienced horrible things that no human being should ever have to deal with, let alone little children. Yet the resilient innocence of childhood was beaming in these faces. At times the inner battle between innocence and atrocity reared it’s ugly head and it was at these moments that I realized that these were not average, ordinary children. These were wounded souls that longed to experience unconditional love and to be afforded the opportunity to love back.

The highlights of the day came early and late. My new camper, Steven, got off the bus in a very timid fashion and when I asked him if he was glad to be at camp and he responded
“not really”. I tried to make him feel welcome and reassure him that everything was going to be ok and we were going to have a great time. He did like the Star Wars decorations in the room but was still a little reticent. I kept on loving on him anyway. The first activity was swimming followed by crafts at which the kids were to make a place mat to eat meals on at camp. It was a rubbery mat that they could decorate with markers or cutout shapes and letters made of the same material. Steven was sitting by another staff member working on his and whenever I would come over to check on him he would cover his mat up. I finally figured out that he wanted to surprise me with his decoration. I played along and when he done he called me over and showed me that he had glued letters on that spelled out “rick is cool”. It was then I realized that I was already having an impact in this childs life.

The other moment was right before bedtime. Nick, who was one of my campers last year, didn’t want to have anything to do with prayer time or chapel time or God at last years camp. There were some slight breakthroughs but nothing major. Tonight before bed I asked the kids if they wanted me to pray for them and they both said yes. And then Nick asked me if he could pray. After I picked myself up off the floor I said certainly and he said a little prayer that was short but it was confident. Obviously he has talked to God between last year and this year. It was really a touching moment for me.

Tuesday 8-9-05

Well nothing of great significance happened today. We did archery, swam in the pool, swam in the lake, fished and in the evening a gentleman came and did trick riding and rope tricks. Basically it was just kids being kids, which if you think of it is actually something of great significance given the litany of maladjusted behaviors these kids were supposed to exhibit. We did have a good prayer walk this evening. Every evening before bedtime we walk along the path to the bunkhouse and look for little pieces of paper hanging on trees. These papers have a sentence or two written on them like “God, thank you for making me just the way I am.” or “God, thank you for loving me even when I do bad things”. This time gives us big campers an opportunity to really speak truth into these kids lives and tonight everyone cooperated and we had some significant conversations.

On a personal note, I am getting tired due to lack of sleep and hot days. I am also anxious about the chaos I left at home and the fact that both of my children are ill. My prayer is that God will sustain my family while I am away and that this week would go quickly for all of us.

Wednesday 8-10

Today was an incredibly fun day for the kids. In the morning after chapel time the boys got to do the rock climbing wall which is always a highlight of the week. We had bible time after that and it seems like they are really getting into the drama about Esther and the story Scott is telling about Daniel. After lunch we had our 30/30 time, aka naptime, and then went to the waterfront. Nick and Steven fished all afternoon and they were catching fish left and right. Several kids caught catfish and even a small bass. They were enjoying themselves so much that they didn’t even want to go swimming.

As much fun as all those things were, the highlight of today was this evening. We went to the snack shack and had a birthday party for all the kids, complete with pizza and cake and ice cream. After dinner one of the churches from Kearney brought out a carnival for the kids and then we went back to our dorms and gave the kids their birthday boxes. Birthday boxes are basically shoe boxes filled with as many presents as you can fit in. the presents are donated by local churches. Steven told me on the way home from the carnival that today was the greatest day of his life.

When I gave my boys their birthday boxes I explained to them how this was a free gift and that it was kind of a symbol of the free gift that God gave us. I asked them if they knew what that meant and they said that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Good answer. Bur when pressed further as to what is sin and why do we need this forgiven they were unable to come up with an answer. These boxes allowed me to present the gospel to these kids.

After all the munchkins were in bed we had our staff meeting and were told that we could chat among ourselves and leave whenever we wanted. It was quite informal. After about 2 minutes of this one of the ladies told the story of one of her campers and the nightmares she was having. The existential question was raised the these girls had been through such horrors in their lives, why did they have to keep living it over and over in there dreams. We discussed how this was actually a spiritual battle and then we had a very intense prayer session. It was then that it struck me that we are on the very frontlines of a spiritual battle. We are quite possible the only Christians that some of these kids have ever known. I occurred to me that all the things that I had been through prior to camp and all the illnesses and struggles my family is going through at home are all a part of this battle. And knowing this, as they say, is truly half the battle.

Thursday 8-11

I am exhausted. I’m going to bed.

Friday 8-12

Camp is finally over and I am exhausted, physically and emotionally. In the training for this camp we were told that towards the end of the week, when the kids realized that they would soon have to go home, their defense mechanisms would begin to be put up and we might see behaviors that previously had not been a problem. This is exactly what happened. A change started coming over these young lives that, just a few days ago, were laughing, smiling, catching fish, making crafts, performing on stage, singing, and simply enjoying life. Some became withdrawn, not wanting contact or affection from anyone. Some, like my Nick, became aggressive and desired to dominate the other children. Some just became disobedient and unresponsive to any type of correction.

For me this was a sad glimpse into the lives of these children. The behaviors they exhibited were part of the way they had adapted to their surroundings in order to maintain some sort of sanity and human dignity. It tore my heart out to think that these children, at 7,8,9 years old had experienced things that no one should ever have to experience. My only hope is that the week they spent at camp, being loved despite their past, despite their behavior, despite the way they dressed, being loved unconditionally, would somehow be an anchor point in their lives. A time they can look back on with joy, knowing that for a short while they knew what it was like just to be a kid.

Please pray for these children.

Resilient Innocence

You ignored me.
You pretended I didn’t exist.
I was lonely, hungry, and cold
You didn’t take care of me at all.

You yelled at me.
You called me nasty, hurtful names.
You made me think I was bad
You made me believe I didn’t matter.

You hit me.
You slapped, kicked, and punched me.
You were supposed to love me
but you just left bruises on the outside and the inside.

You have taken my most precious gift.
In the night you came and stole it.
You told me not to tell anyone our secret.
I’m confused and ashamed.

But…

I am a child.

I can still laugh.
I still know how to play.
I can smile and sing and skip.
I can enjoy life.

If you love me unconditionally
I am capable of loving you back.
I can care and hug and feel.
I can be your friend.

If I am cared for
my resilient innocence will always shine through.
If I am loved
I won’t be afraid.

Let me be a child while I am young.
Keep the worries and stresses of life
away from me while I am little.
Let me experience the joy of living.

Here I Go Again

2005-08-06T22:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I just finished a week with 230 hormone filled high school schools students. We were hot, wet, tired, sweaty, and frustrated together. However, we also made some great music, had a lot of laughs and were able to produce something almost respectable by Friday night. That's right, you guessed it. It was band camp. A week of working from 8 in the morning until 4 in the afternoon to get a head start on our marching band season. This years band camp had a special significance for anyone connected to the band at the end of last years season. You see, at our state marching contest, affectionately termed NSBA, we came away with and excellent rating. This, at first blush, may not seem like a big deal but it was the first time in 13 years that the Kearney High Marching Band had gotten anything less than a superior rating at any contest. I hit us all like a mule kicking you right on the sternum (or so I would suppose. I have never actually been kicked by a mule in the sternum). It caused me and the other director I work with to evaluate everything we do and make the changes that needed to be made. This years camp started out with a determination to never let that kind of thing happen again. I think it's going to be a good year for the Kearney High Marching Band.

The arrival of band camp always indicates the nearness of the end of summer. However, I still have one more adventure left to go. Tomorrow I leave for a week at camp. This is exciting news except for the fact that, once again, I am leaving and my family is staying. You see, I am a counselor at a camp for abused and neglected kids called "Royal Family Kids Camp". The camp is run out of our church and has decidedly Christian overtones, but the main premise of the camp is not to evangelize these children but rather to treat them like royalty for a week. To leave them with the knowledge that someone loves them not because they are getting a check from the state or because it is their job, but just because. It is an amazing opportunity to have a major effect on someone's life. I was a counselor (or big camper as we call them, "counselor" has certain connotations to some of these kids) last year and have had the opportunity to see one of the children I worked with last year start coming to our church. Like I said before, this is not the goal of the camp and formal contact with these kids after camp is strictly forbidden, but to see a little life that has been so wounded start to take on some kind of meaning was very powerful.

That said, I am looking forward to this camp. I know that God has blessed me with wonderful many wonderful relationships throughout my life and this is a chance to bless others with what I have been given. But it does mean another week away from home and my wife and children in a summer that seen much of that already. I am comforted with the knowledge that my wife and my children fully support what I am doing and will be praying for me at home. I am sure this week will be quite an adventure and a fitting way to usher in the beginning of the school year.

Public Apology

2005-08-04T19:58:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in every persons life when they make certain realizations. I had just such an epiphany recently when some poetry I posted on this very blog was met with less than rave reviews. First, my brother was ready send me prozac to treat depression. Then a certain adult female in my household (who shall remain nameless), upon reading my entry, was brought to the point of hysterics. And my mother, who always comments on my blog, was totally silent. OK! I get the point.

In the way of explanation of to those whose poetic sensibilities I may have offended, this poem was actually inspired by a tree standing all alone in the middle of a pasture. I was driving in the sandhills of Nebraska and saw this tree and it struck me because in the Sandhills there are very few trees. For those of you who have been in the Sandhills you know that a drive through this country gives you lots and lots of time to think. You don't have to worry about towns or even cars so to occupy my mind I started thinking of this lonely tree. How did it get there? What was it's purpose? It struck me that this lonely tree could actually be a metaphor for the influence we have on other people. Even when we feel we are insignificant and all alone, we still can positively effect someone in some way. Yada, Yada, Yada.

So, I am now faced with three choices. #1 - Quit writing poetry all together (yes I have written a few poems) in which case I would not be being true to myself. #2 - Keep writing poetry but keep it solely to myself and when I pass on my writings will be found and my heirs will publish them and they will become a wolrdwide phenomona and people will be crushed that my genius wasn't realized during my lifetime and my children will become very wealthy from selling the rights to my life story to Pixar. #3 - I not going to even tell you #3 because #2 is looking pretty good to me right now.

So, to all my not-so-adoring fans I sign off and bid you a fond farewell.

All Alone

2005-07-28T20:28:00.000-07:00

A lone tree stood in a fuzzy pasture,
it's bulbous form unique in the empty landscape.
The significance of the deciduous was decidedly vague
except to the lone cow that napped beneath it's branches.

Little ballerina

2005-07-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

Something happened and these didn't show up on my last post. I am still learning. Hope you enjoy these.

My happy little princess.

Here are my little entrepenuers out to make a buck. Actually they made $6.50 in about an hour.

This is Ice man and a buddy waiting to make smores at our campout in Halsey National Forest.

Here is my little princess ready for dance class.

ballerinas and bike skids

2005-07-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

Today was a banner day in our household. This afternoon was the last dance class for my little princess and parents were allowed to come watch. Of course we were the only parents that did so, but I was there toting both video and still camera. Did you think I would let this momentous occasion go undocumented? I also have a lot of catching up to do as we took A LOT of pictures of Iceman when he was little but only have a few of her majesty. Of course this would not have been a problem had I not given my parents so much grief for having a ba-zillion pictures of my older brother and 3 of me. I guess what goes around comes around.

Princess did absolutely wonderful. She followed instructions, had great rhythm (of course), and did everything just perfectly. Of course my eye is untrained and a wee bit biased, but I am sure that the instructor would have agreed if I would have had the opportunity to discuss it with her.

As if that were not enough, we decided to go on a bike ride after supper. Now this doesn't sound like to momentous an occasion until you consider that Iceman, who up until tonight has perferred his scooter to his bike because of a few "mishaps" last summer, fell in love with his bike tonight. We had to convince him that if his mother and I were on our bikes it wouldn't work for him to ride his scooter. He reluctantly agreed and hopped on his little blue dirt bike and pedalled off. It was just o.k. until his imagination kicked in and suddenly he was in a pod racer on Tattoine leaving mom and dad in his exhaust vapors. Then IT happened. He was smoking us in the home stretch and he wanted to stop and wait for us so he slammed on his brakes and left a SKID MARK. His eyes lit up and he yelled "Hey dad, check this out". After that he was mr. biker dude and complained bitterly when we arrived home and had to put his bike away. He is hooked. It was an absolutely beautiful evening for a bike ride.

I will try to attach some of the pictures of the cool summer stuff we have been doing the last couple of weeks.

trial run

2005-07-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

Here is my latest attempt to post pictures.

This is a shot from the balcony of Wesleys Chapel in London. I picked this picture at random because all the pictures on my computer are labled with numbers. It was a very cool church and we were able to attend service there. The choir even sang as part of the service. This is the church where John Wesley began his ministry that would eventually become the Methodist Church. I'm not really sure why it is on it's side, but who cares. I posted a picture!!!

Notice anything Different?

2005-07-17T15:00:00.000-07:00

If you are a regular reader of this blog (i.e. Mom, Bro) you may notice I have made a few changes. The reason for this is actually quite simple, it's summer and I have the time. Oh, and by the way I have some GREAT NEWS! Thanks to a wonderful tip from my amazingly techno minded brother, I have recovered my photos from our Montana vacation. I am so relieved. I will attempt to put a few of these on my blog if I can figure it all out.

Epilogue

2005-07-11T20:30:00.000-07:00

7-11-05

At last we have arrived back at home after two 10 hour days in the car. I was truly amazed at how well the kids handled being strapped down for that long. They read and watched movies (Iceman watched every single bonus feature, documentaries and all, for Star Wars I and II) and just watched out the window. They didn’t really get punchy until we got out of the in-laws car and into our car for the last stretch. They bickered back and forth for a while (my little princess is discovering what a powerful tool language can be) for about 2 hours and then fell asleep for the rest of the journey.

As my worldwind tour of quite a bit of our globe winds down I have become reflective. I have seen some incredible things, both made by man and by God. I have tasted wonderful food and met some interesting people. The question that has arisen in my mind is why do I live where I live when there are all these other incredible places I could be? The answer is because this is where my people are. I have come to realize that family and friends give a person a much stronger sense of place than any mountains or sculptures or buildings ever could. You can always make your surroundings more beautiful but you can never replace the relationships you have built up over a lifetime.

I have also come to appreciate the things that surround me. I live surrounded by some of the most fertile ground on the planet. This ground is worked by a relatively small number of people to produce an immense amount of food that is consumed by people all over the world. I live in a 50 mile stretch where, each spring, most of the ducks, geese, and cranes in North America pass through on their annual migration. I live in an area where you know your neighbors, where serious crime is rare, and where people still care about their fellow human beings. Sure, we don’t have mountains or clear streams (or much water at all for that matter), but I believe that even people in the Alps at times can take the wonders that surround them for granted just as I do the 10,000 cranes that inhabit the field 2 blocks from my house each April. I must always remember to appreciate the beauty that is around me.

It’s good to be home.

The Wedding

2005-07-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

Day 8 7-9-05

Well the moment finally arrived for us to go to the wedding that was the impetus of this whole trip. My wifes cousin from Helena was getting married to a guy from Cincinnati that she met at college. They both went to Washington University in St. Louis, which is a very elite academic school, so the wedding party and many of the guests were from all over the country. They were also an eclectic mix of very intelligent people. I meet a wholistic dentist, a volunteer teacher from the south side of Chicago, an assistant football coach from Syracuse University, and many more.

The wedding was held at a lodge way up in the mountains east of Helena and was scheduled to be an outdoor wedding. As you can probably guess, about 2:00 in the afternoon it started to rain. it wasn’t a very heavy rain but there was a little lightning associated with it. It tapered off and they decided to hold it outdoors after all, and I am glad they did. It was absolutely beautiful. it was one of the higher peaks in the area so the view was spectacular and it was made even more dramatic by the clouds, lighting, periodic rain and steam you could see for miles and miles. The backdrop for the ceremony was a rock outcropping that stuck straight up out of the meadow at the edge of the mountain. The rocks were arranged in a very artistic manner, as if God had made a sculpture for just such a purpose.

It was a rather unique ceremony. It was performed by a justice of the peace and was a total secular ceremony. The readings weren’t scripture, they were poems by Walt Whitman and someone else I didn’t recognize. The song that was sung was an original by a friend of theirs and talked about love and relationships. The vows were about personal commitment to each other. It was a lovely ceremony but very much unlike anything that I am used to.

The reception that followed was in a tent about 100 yards from the ceremony. There was wonderful food and a dance that was a hoot. My little princess couldn’t wait to get me out on the dance floor and between her and Iceman, I hardly sat down all night. It was obvious that the wedding party was accustomed to dancing and they were thoroughly enjoying themselves. We drove back to our house and fell asleep with the cool mountain air blowing in through the windows. I slept very soundly, which is good because the next day will be a long travel day as we begin our journey back to good old Nebraska.

The Queen City

2005-07-08T15:47:00.000-07:00

Day 7 7-8-05

Today started with a bus tour of Helena, also known as “The Queen City of the Rockies”, and for good reason. It started in the late 1800’s as a gold rush town and progressed to a cattle town and is currently the state capital of Montana. At one point they had more millionaires per capita than any town in the country. It is full of stone buildings with amazing architecture and a very cosmopolitan feel. The arts are very vibrant with an orchestra, a Shakespeare company, and dance company and a whole slew of music and arts festivals all summer long. Not bad for a town of only about 35,000. It has a myriad of restaurants, coffee houses, and shopping opportunities. Truly a gem of a city.

p.s. Keep reading. I made several posts today.

Tragedy Strikes

2005-07-08T15:45:00.000-07:00

Day 6 7-7-05

Today started off with breakfast at the hotel, loading the Suburban, and heading to Helena. We decided that instead of taking the direct route we would cut through the park one more time and go out the north entrance. Along the way we saw a big herd of elk and stopped to take pictures. I snapped a few and noticed that my memory card was getting full, so too conserve space on the card I was going to change the size of pictures I was taking. That is when it happened. I did what I thought would increase my space available and as it turn out I was right. I erased all of the pictures I had taken, all 150 of them. Pardon me while I vomit one more time. OK , that’s better. I don’t exactly know what I did but I pulled the card out of my camera and I am hoping that a camera shop can somehow extract these irreplaceable photos. I am beside myself.

The rest of the day was spent driving to Helena across the state of Montana. When we got here we had dinner at my father-in-law’s brothers house. It was an older house in the hills about a miles south of Helena. It was truly beautiful. It seemed to me to be the kind of place in which I could retire.(I know I’m only 35 and retirement is a ways off, but it is never too early to start dreaming) it was a lovely dinner with some interesting people.

After supper we went to the place we will call home for the next three nights. It is a house of some people that are working on their new home by the lake for the week. It is a beautiful decorated old home with lot’s of character. I am amazed that they were willing to let total stangers occupy their space for 4 days. They must be some very generous (and trusting) people.

Faithfully Faithful

2005-07-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

Day 5 7-6-05

The road from the east entrance of the park to the main part of Yellowstone is only open from 8 am to 8 pm because they are working to widen the road and they do all their blasting of rock during the night hours. It was pretty cool driving by and seeing the process they have to go through to work on the road in the mountains. It’s slightly different than working on I-80 by Kearney. We were at the east gate at shortly after 8:00 and once we got past the construction we set off armed with a map and burning curiosity.

After driving for a little way we came across what looked on the map like a short little walking trail that led to something called “natural bridge”. I thought this sounded cool and we all decided to give it a try. Evidently the trails are not to scale on our map because we walked for at least a mile and half to get back to this bridge. However, the reward was well worth the effort. To begin with, the trail was tremendously beautiful with 40 foot pine trees lining the trail as far as you could see. Suddenly, the forest opened up and we were face to face with a 30 foot waterfall that was rimmed at the top with a perfect arch bridge that had been carved out of the rock by the falls. It was very cool from the bottom but even more cool after Iceman and I scaled the side of the mountain and got a look at it from behind. We weren’t allowed to walk on top of it as it was a fragile natural feature. From behind, though, we felt a cool breeze blowing through the hole and the opening framed snow capped mountains miles away. It was truly a wonderful experience for Iceman and I to have together.

After getting back to the parking lot and drinking a lot of water we headed off to see the most famous of sights at Yellowstone, Old Faithful. Driving there gave me a good idea of the immensity of this national park. The natural bridge was about in the middle of the park after driving about an hour from the east gate and we drove about another 40 miles to get to old faithful and we still were by the edge of the park. This is a huge place!!! We got to old faithful about 45 minutes before the next eruption. It erupts about every 94 minutes give or take 10 minutes. It has erupted in this same manner for the entire 120 years that it has been watched. We at lunch and got to the geyser just in time to see it go off. It was guite impressive to see a stream of boiling hot water and steam being forced 200 feet in the air from a hole in the gound.

Perhaps more impressive is the fact that this geyser is only one of a massive series of geothermal vents that include hot springs, geysers, steam vents, and mud pots. These are caused when ground water seeps down and is heated by volcanic magma near the earths core. This super heated water is then pushed up through the porous limestone and vented at the surface. it makes me realize that there is a whole lot going on beneath our feet about which we don’t have a clue.

We walked around and looked at many of the geothermal vents closest to Old Faithful and by the time we made our way back up, it was time for another eruption. BONUS!!
Then, wearied from all the walking we had been doing, we decided to go to hotel and swim and eat and get to bed early. Along the way we saw the myriad of wildlife we had been seeing all along. Buffalo, elk, geese, ravens, and pelicans were all very plentiful. We didn’t have the opportunity of seeing a bear but evidently the park rangers are doing their best to limit human contact with bears for many reasons.

The time at the hotel was very relaxing and it is good because tomorrow is another travel day.

There’s A Park in Them Thar Hills

2005-07-08T15:40:00.000-07:00

Day 4 7-05-05

Thank goodness. We got to sleep in a little today and get ready at a leisurely rate. Or so was the plan. We did get to sleep in but when I went to take a shower the hot water knob wouldn’t work. We called the desk and told them and they sent the maintenance guys out. They said our knob was stripped and were about ready to get us a diffent room to shower in when we mentioned that the in-laws were just across the hall and we could just shower in their room. They said for our troubles that would let us eat for free in the hotel restaurant, which is good thing because the breakfast buffet for all of us came to about $50.(note to self: to get free food, break stuff)

We left our hotel and did a little shopping (Iceman got a black cowboy hat and pistols that shoot suction cups, princess got “beautiful rocks”), then on to a recreation of an old west village. This was neat because they have graves of actual old west people and they had found their cabins and moved them to this location. Iceman loved it with his hat and guns.

We stopped at Buffalo Bills Dam before heading to our next nights lodging, Pahaska Teepee. Pahasaka was one of Buffalo Bills hotels and served for many years as a hunting lodge. Our room at Pahaska is a basic cabin room with beds and a shower (this ain’t no holiday inn). It is very rustic but very beautiful and only 2 miles from the east gate of Yellowstone. We checked in and headed out to see some of the sights in the park.

I was a little worried that after being in the Swiss Alps less that two weeks ago that the Rocky Mountains wouldn’t be as appealing as they could be. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Yellowstone is absolutely gorgeous, and huge. One of the most amazing things about this park is the diversity of things here. We saw praries with rivers flowing through them, sulfur geysers, an incredible waterfall, and something know as the grand canyon of the Yellowstone. It has been a very rewarding experience so far and we have were just in the park for a few hours today.

Close Encounters

2005-07-07T06:05:00.000-07:00

We got up early today because we had to make 350 miles to Cody, Wyoming with 1 special stop along the way, Devils Tower. The entire ride there I had five distinct pitches running through my head (doo-doo-doo-DOO-doo) and had an incredible craving for mashed potatoes. I know this probably doesn’t make sense to some of you but that’s ok because it didn’t to most of the people in the vehicle. The kids are too young and my wife hadn’t ever seen Close Encounters of the Third Kind. My father in law did get it so I didn’t seem like I was totally nuts.

Devils Tower is an incredible structure, a massive tower that sticks up out of a Wyoming prarie. It was formed by magma pushing up through the porous limestone and then sudden cooling formed all the vertical columns. It is surrounded at the base by a boulder field where pieces of the columns have fallen off. While walking a trail around the base, Iceman and I had a great desire to climb these boulders. We sent the others on ahead and for about 45 minutes we worked our way across massive rocks. We finally stopped and turned around when we reached a sign that said “No climbing without permit and proper gear”. Going down was actually harder than coming up but the whole experience was amazing.

After our climb and finishing the trail we climbed back in the car for a long drive. It wasn’t the beautiful, tree-filled mountain driving that we had yesterday, oh no, this was treeless prarie driving and not very interesting at all. It was however good reading and sleeping time. The kids were very good in the car but it did happen to be the birthday of my little princess and for about 50 miles she sang “Happy Birthday to Me” at the top of her lungs. Given that she was spending her birthday in a car, we let her sing away.

We got Cody about dinner time and we checked into our hotel and set out to find a bite to eat. We eventually landed in a place called “The Irma Hotel” which I am quite glad we did. The Irma Hotel was the hotel started by Buffalo Bill Cody. Buffalo Bill is best known for his Wild West show but he was also a great entrepreneur, innovator , and developer. He had a chain of 3 hotels developed a hydroelectric dam that still provides power and irrigation to that part of Wyoming.

After dinner we watched a nice fireworks show in Cody, as this was the 4th of July.

The Wild Wild West

2005-07-05T07:15:00.000-07:00

We are here exploring the wild west which, for the most part, looks pretty much like a cowboy movie. On the 3rd we took a beautiful ride through the Black Hills on a windy, curvy road that sometimes had one lane tunnels cut right through the rock. We were on our way to Mount Rushmore and when we got there we had quite a surprise. Not only was the traffic totally backed up and people were parked along the road for about 2 miles but there were also security guards with automatic weapons all over the place. I suppose this is a holiday weekend and Rushmore would make a pretty juicy target for some crazed terrorist.

The kids really thought the faces were cool. There were tons of people there sitting on chairs and blankets and anything else that they could sit on waiting for the fireworks to begin. After all, it was 11:00 am and the fireworks would start in a mere ten and a half hours. It was pretty neat though, there were all kinds of music groups and native american groups providing entertainment during the day.

From Rushmore we headed down the road to Crazy Horse Monument. This is another sculpture in a mountain but this one is of Chief Crazy Horse sitting on a horse and pointing towards the black hills. “My land is were my people are buried” is the inspiration for this work. I have been to Crazy Horse several times before and it always seems like there has not been much progress. However when you consider that they have not accepted any government money and that the carvings on Rushmore could fit into the flowing hair of Crazy Horse you get an idea of the scope of the project and why it is taking so long.

At this point it was time to head to our hotel in Spearfish South Dakota. It was very interesting that about 30 miles north of Crazy Horse the Black Hills ended and all of the sudden the landscape bore a striking resemblance to the sandhills of Nebraska. No trees in sight and a lot of rolling hills. We went to dinner in Spearfish at a place recommended by the young lady that checked us in called Sanfords. We would have never found it if she hadn’t told us how to get there. It was definitely off the beaten path which is just what you want when you are on an adventure. Sanfords was loosely designed on the old TV show “Sanford and Son”. Neat environment and good food too.

We then went back to the hotel and Iceman and Princess and I got to swim, for free (I like free). We had to get to bed though. Tomorrow is a long day.

And We're Off

2005-07-02T21:08:00.000-07:00

I was sitting at home thinking "I am sure getting tired of staring at these same four walls". After all, 5 days is a lot of time to spend in one place. So Saturday morning at 6:30 a.m. we loaded up our vehicle ( with a LOT of stuff, by the way) and headed down the road on a family vacation. (I know at this point you are probably asking "hey! what happened to Europe?" I promise that it will be forthcoming but I am in a hotel right now and they have internet! For FREE!!!)

Our first stop was to pick up Raeanna's parents and then off the greatest of Nebraska tourist destinations. No, I am not talking about Henry Doorly Zoo or the State Capital or even the Archway Monument. I am talking about the one and only Carhenge. You know, that monument to the actual stonehenge made out old car bodies painted grey. Hey, it's not as hokey as it sounds. Oh wait a minute, yes it is. But it was on the way and Iceman thought it was cool.

Our actual destination for today was Hot Springs, South Dakota where we saw the mammoth digs, which are the greatest find of mammoth fossils in North America, and Evans Plunge. Evans Plunge is a natural warm spring pool that has been a pool for over 100 years. It was cool but not worth the price we paid. Again, the kids thought it was cool.

Day one was enjoyable and I am looking forward to a good night sleep.

Home at Last

2005-06-27T12:28:00.000-07:00

Well it was quite an adventure, 8 countries in 16 days, but as in everything else all good things must come to an end. I suppose you are all wondering why I haven't updated my blog since Paris. Well, one of the things that I learned while traveling in Europe is that technology is not always readily available. The towns we stayed in in Switzerland and Austria both had internet cafes but they were both ski resort towns also. This being the off season for skiing the internet joints were closed. Our last stop was Rothenberg, Germany which is a walled town that was built between 1200 and 1400. I suppose they probably would have a hard time retrofitting this place for 21st century technology.

But never fear, I was able to utilize a rather antiquated form and technology and write my thoughts down. On paper!! With at pen!!!! I know this seems somewhat anachronistic but I did put it to good use and will post thoughts from my travels over the next few days. If anyone is still out there, keep reading and don't forget to send comments.

Ahh, Paris

2005-06-14T14:38:00.000-07:00

One thing is for sure, Paris has a lot of TRAFFIC. Not just on the freeways but everywhere. Our bus driver, Bert, is outstanding and drives his bus like a sports car, but it takes forever to get anywhere.

By the way, if there are any funny typos in this post it is because the keyboard is completely different than in the states.

Yesterday was a travelling day and our bus drove into a ferry and we took a boat across the English Channel: The white cliffs of Dover where absolutely beautiful. When we arrived in Paris We had dinner in a quaint little restaraunt. Very good food:

Today we went to the Eiffel Tower, the church called St. Severin, which is 900 years old, had a concert in the park that was well attended and equqlly well recieved, and ended the evening with another wonderful meal and a boat ride on the river Seine;

Tommorow we go to the Lovre, the Arche de Triumphe, Montre Marte and More;

gotta go

Last day in London

2005-06-12T14:28:00.000-07:00

we had a busy day today, but then everyday has been busy. started with church at wesleys chapel, which is the original weslyan church, at whch the choir sang. then on a guided bus tour where we were able the visit st marks church, globe theatre (yes bro I did get you somethng), buckingham palace,the london towere where the crown jewels are housed, and ended with an organ recital at westminster abby. tomorrow we leave for paris at 5 am. goodnight all.

London at Last

2005-06-12T01:30:00.000-07:00

We have arrived. We got into Gatwick airport on Friday, June 10 at about 10 am local time, which is about 4 am our time. The plane ride over was fine but I only got about 1 hour of sleep. Oh well, I am in Europe.

From Gatwick we went to Windsor Castle. On one hand it was everything I imagined a castle would be. Opulence, extravagance, extreme beauty guards with big poofy hats. Oh yeah, and lots of swords and guns and knight stuff. Very cool!! The outside of the castle was a different story. Very commercialized with lots of shops and restaruants. I guess my image of a castle surrounded by woods and shires is a little medievil for the 21st century.

That evening we went to Picadilly Circus, which is a bit like time square in New York. London is a very cosmopolitan tow with over 300 languages spoken. The majority of people I see are young and single. The town has a lot of energy.

Saturday morning we went the the "Trouping the Colours" parade (note the spelling, very European of me, eh?) This is honor of the Queens official birthday and feature lots of royal guard in poofy hats, several bands including one with bagpipes and one on horseback. The highlight of the parade was the royals. We were less than 20 yards away from Camilla, Prince William and Henry, Prince Charles and Queen Elizabeth. What an amazing opporutunity.

The rest of the day was filled with our first concert in Embankment Gardens, the stage show "Fame", a traditional meal of fish and chips ($32 for one piece of fish and fries), and finished with a ride on the London Eye, a 400 foot ferris wheel that provides some spectacular views of London.

I am having a wonderful time here. I realy miss my family and wish they could be here to share this with me, but I will have many fond memories of this trip. I will post more later when I get the chance.

Almost There

2005-06-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

Well day three has come and gone and tommorow we fly. We had a farewell concert tonight and I am amazed at how well these groups are playing after just 2 days of rehearsal. Our little quintet continues to play and we played in the lobby before the concert. We are taking the music with us and are going to try and find venues to play in. That has some exciting possibilities, playing in the Tube, in pubs, in public squares... the possibilities are endless.

After our dress rehearsal today it was like someone flipped on an energy switch. The kids new the end of camp was near and our actual trip was growing nearer and nearer. There was an excitment in the air as they got into their uniforms in preparation for the concert. There is nothing more motivating to me in this world than to see kids excited like that. And thinking of the perspective that these kids, some as young as 14, will gain from traveling in foreign lands gives me hope that this trip may make a global difference some day, if only in a small way.

Europe??? Day Two

2005-06-07T20:56:00.000-07:00

Well here we are in lovely Europe. Oops! I guess this is still Fremont. That's right, we spent another day in rehearsal in Fremont. The bands are sounding really good. The music is not very difficult but they are playing at a very high level. I am playing 3rd part in one band and 1st in the other and I alternate rehearsals. I have not played this much since I was in college and it feels great.

Over lunch I got some of the other staff members together and we formed a brass quintet. We had so much fun that we ended up playing at the talent show tonight and I think we are going to play in lobby before the concert tommorow. Someone suggested that we take the music to Europe with us and play in pubs or in parks or something. I think it sounds like a great idea.

Tommorow is another day of rehearsals and then our farewell concert. Then off to beddy-bye and Thursday morning we head to the airport. I am ready to be on a plane.

Day One

2005-06-06T20:57:00.000-07:00

Well it has finally arrived! My European vacation has begun, sort of. Today we met the students that are going on the trip, all 300 of them. I will back up for those of you who have inadvertently strayed onto the blog and wonder what is going on. I am a going on a trip to Europe which will include London, Paris, Venice, Switzerland, Austria, and Germany. We are going as a group called Nebraska Ambassadors of Music which includes 2 bands and 1 choir. I am a chaperone for 6 students, one mom, and one grandma and that has what has earned me the privilege of going on this trip free of charge.

Day one of the trip is actually camp in Fremont. The students came and checked in their luggage and began rehearsals and sectionals. In the middle of the day I found myself thinking "gee, this vacation seems a awful lot like work". It really is because rehearsals and sectionals are what I do on a daily basis. I am really looking foward to being on an airplane and heading toward a destination. That will come in time I am sure.

Where the @#%*(& is it!?!

2005-06-03T14:10:00.000-07:00

Do you want to know how to get your house clean real fast? It’s simple. Just lose your passport 4 days before you leave for Europe. I was in the process of getting everything in order yesterday when I realized, much to my shock and dismay, that I had my old, expired passport, but I didn’t have my new valid passport. “No big deal” I told myself, I’m sure it’s in one of the many piles of papers I have scattered about the house. This was about 9:00 in the morning.

So I set myself to cleaning out the piles that had stacked up over the course of the school year. Letters from January, old music club cards that were supposed to be returned (oops), magazines, all kinds of stuff. Of course I didn’t let my wife in on what was happening. Why, you ask? Well, because I’m a guy and guys just don’t do that kind of thing. Besides, I was getting brownie points for clearing the clutter. So essentially it was the best of both worlds. I was going to find what I had lost and look like a hero in the process.

However there arose a tiny little kink in my master plan – I didn’t find the passport. It was then that I new I needed to be creative. Lost things are usually found in the last place you would think to look for them so I was going to beat myself to the punch and think of the last place first (are you following me here?). Feeling like a creative mastermind, I looked in my sons desk, in my underwear drawer (why? I haven’t a clue), under my bed. In short I turned the place upside down and neatly righted it again. But still no passport.

Still looking like the hero (In my mind at least) for “cleaning the house” I offhandedly mentioned to my wife “honey, you haven’t seen my passport, have you?”. “Well, what did you do with it”, was the reply that came back. No offense to my wife’s intelligence, but if I knew that, I wouldn’t be looking, now would I. “Last I saw it I took it out of the folder it was in and put it someplace safe”. Brilliant move on my part, I must say. This was around 4:00 in the afternoon and we didn’t have any more time to look because our bible study was coming over for a barbeque that evening. So I gave up the search and began to clean for real.

After the meal was finished I asked the people in the group to be praying for me and explained my plight. Once they left my wife joined me in an all out rampage to find this cussed thing. At this point I was desperate because there was not enough time left to get a replacement, so the gloves came off and we dug deep. After about 15 minutes of searching I was truly getting desperate and decided to search all the papers I had thrown out earlier that day. The bag had gotten full and been taken out to the dumpster so I went outside, opened the bag and began to search. There were all the papers I had thrown out, right under the remains of the days lunch. Oh yeah, they had spaghettios.

So here I am, elbow deep in noodles, sauce, peaches, and papers when my darling wife comes prancing out of the house. “Honey, how much does it cost to have a passport replaced” she said, and I knew something was up. “I don’t know. Why?” I said. “Because that’s what you owe me” she said waving the passport in front of my face. Where did she find it, you ask? It was in the front pouch of the suitcase I was packing when I realized it was missing. I then remembered that on an earlier trip to a meeting about this trip, I had put it there for “safe keeping”.

That is the last place I would have thought to look.

Thar she blows

2005-05-31T13:23:00.000-07:00

Well I wish I could be writing that this was an outstanding weekend. The family and I went out to the in-laws in western Nebraska for the weekend. My wife’s sister was having her children baptized at the little country church where she grew up. Western Nebraska, by the way, is an incredibly beautiful part of the state. If you are looking for trees and sparse vegetation then this is not the place for you. If you are looking for rugged landscape, wide open spaces (and I do me WIDE OPEN, the county my wife grew up in only has 400 people in it ), and breathtaking views over the next hill, then this is the place for you.

Anyway, we went out on Saturday and visited the cemetery for Memorial Day and then went to their local lake for a picnic. We enjoyed a beautiful evening with great weather, family and a picnic that included burgers, chips, salads, and jumbalaya (made by one of my wife’s uncles who imagines himself a gourmet chef). Well the intrigue of this new dish was more than I could resist and I had a large helping. It was very yummy with rice, Cajun spices, and large chunks of shrimp and fish. Which I found out the hard way had not been stored correctly. That’s right, I woke up Sunday morning with a lovely case of food poisoning. So while all the rest of my family and in-laws went to the baptism and the family reunion and all the other fun stuff, I stayed at home wretching my guts out and watching satellite TV my father in-laws 56 inch high definition TV (I guess there was one bright spot to my weekend). All in all it was not a pleasant experience.

Thresholds

2005-05-27T21:24:00.000-07:00

Ahh the beginning of summer, what an awesome feeling. And what a way to spend the day. You see, for about the past month there have not been many nights or weekends where everyone was home and we were together as a family. So yesterday was designated as "Family Day". My wife took the day off and we slept in and went to the library and the circus and then out to dinner. Then we rented a movie and kicked back all evening long. It was the most time we have spent together in a long time and it was wonderful.

Wednesday marked the end of the school year and the beginning of the summer. I wonder, though, if there really is a beginning and ending to anything. When something is finished it continues to effect the way you think and act and believe for a long time. When something begins your past influences how you will walk through that situation. You have been preparing your whole life for what you are doing right now. So maybe, instead of beginnings and endings, what we really have is a series of thresholds. Like going through a door from one room to another. The room you left is still there and you can still see it, and the you always were aware of the room you are in.

Sorry. I'll come back from the deep now. We had a threshold of our own recently. The Little Princess is POTTY TRAINED!!! She had been doing pretty well through the days but nights were still tough. Two days ago I was putting her jammies on and she told me "I will wear panties tonight". I thought "well I suppose changing the sheets in the middle of the night is part of the process". So off to bed with panties we went. Well, not exactly we. I didn't wear panties to bed. I mean, I never wear panties, but if I did I wouldn't wear them to bed. I mean...Oh, nevermind. Much to my surprise, bright and early the next morning I felt a little tap on my arm and a little voice said, "Daddy, I need to go potty". What a sweet sound. Oh I know what you might think but I was not sentimental and gushy that my precious little jewel is growing up and this is major milestone in her life. What I was really celebrating is the fact that we don't have to buy diapers anymore!!!

Everyday is something new in this family. Watching the kids grow and learn and love life as they go through their own thresholds brings me unspeakable joy. I rejoice at the threshold of summer so that I can see more and more of my family.

New Rule

2005-05-25T20:58:00.000-07:00

O.K., I just created a new blogging rule for myself. I must put entries into this publication before I go to cyberjazzdaddy.blogspot.com, which happens to be my brothers blog. All day long I was thinking of interesting things I could write about and maybe how I could phrase things and was excited to sit down at my computer and write. Before I did, however, I casually browsed over to the aforementioned sight and I knew I could not compete. Now, I know that these sights are not about competition and are about the free exchange of ideas and connecting people, yadayadayada, but you have to admit that that boy is way more clever than I could ever be. Added to that is the fact the he most likely is the only one who actually reads these and he doesn't want to here his own style in my posts. Therefore I pledge to write before I read and never worry about what others may think.

WHEW!

2005-05-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

What a crazy weekend! On Saturday we piled into our little black vehicle (I think it’s a truck, my wife calls it a car) and drove two hours just to see a movie. Granted it was one of the most anticipated movies of all times and something I have wanted to take my son to for a very long time. That’s right, you guessed…Star Wars. Ice Man is the same age now that I was when I first saw the golden letters flash on the screen accompanied by a single hammer chord, then float gradually away to a brass fanfare that will surely go down as one of the most hum-able(is that a word?) tunes of the 20th century. Though technology has improved greatly in the last 28 years I am so glad that that is one thing that did not change.

We debated over whether to take him given the worries of violence that surrounded the PG-13 rating but as with most other things in life, if the critics and the press make a big hullabaloo about it, it is probably a non-issue. Now granted the crispy critter that Anakin becomes looks a lot like a weiny left too long on the barbeque, it wasn’t anything that will cause nightmares in my boy (on a side note, when Obi-Wan cut off his legs I so desperately wanted Anakin to say “Come back here! I’ll bite you knee caps off). But I digress. I am glad we decided to take him because it gives us something we have in common. Something we both enjoy and can look back on and talk about. That kind of legacy will live longer than the memory of chopped off limbs and decapitated bad guys.

Following that we proceeded to drive another hour to buy a dining room table. The one we had we got when we were first married and lived in a house that was 980 square feet on two levels. Now that we live in a modest size house we need something that can handle more people. We were then close enough to Mom and Dad that they came in and had dinner with us. They brought Uncle D and Aunt K with them, which was really nice in that they travel a lot and I don’t get to see them much anymore. After we ate we just had to stop by the toy store and buy something Star Wars. Then it was a 3 hour drive back home and to bed (at around midnight).

Sunday came and we went to church. Then back home to prepare for just some of the 22 graduation parties we had received invitations for. Of course we didn’t make all of these but it was flattering to be invited. Graduation time always reminds me of the importance of what I do. Sure I teach kids how to play instruments and many will carry these skills into life as an avocation and some even as a vocation. But what I try to teach goes much deeper than this. As these kids go out into the world, my hope is that some of the discipline, dedication, teamwork and perseverance that it took to succeed in band will help them in what ever they choose to do. And I hope that they will not so much remember how they learned these things but will remember more the fun we had along the way.
It also makes me think about how my children will look back on their formative years. Hopefully the things like weekend trips to see Star Wars will help them to remember the fun WE had along the way.

2005-05-15T20:08:00.000-07:00

Today was a wonderful day. I had a date with my wife after church and then some friends invited us to go to their cabin on a lake. We spent the day riding on the boat and relaxing and talking. Ice man (my 7 year old) played pirates with the other kids on a boat in a dry dock (talk about 7 year old heaven) and my little princess (my 2 year old) spent the day in the tree swing. She would spend every day in a swing if she could convince someone to stand a push her. Actually there is not a lot of pushing involved. Last summer I started grabbing her legs and pulling her forward to get her started swinging. That way is a lot more fun for me because then I can see her precious little face and pretend like she is kicking me and knock her flip-flops off. You know, dad stuff. Anyway, now whenever she wants to swing she will come to me and say "Pull my legs, daddy" to which I always (for some sick daddy reason) want to answer "only if you pull my finger first". I can only get away with that line when my wife is not around.

Hello out there.

2005-05-14T20:31:00.000-07:00

Hello. Is anybody out there? Does anybody really care? Well here I am writing a blog. I don't really know what I am doing but it seems like a trendy thing to do so, what the heck. Oh, I'm really not supposed to use that pharse "what the h**k". According to my little 7 year old morality cop, that is the third worst thing you can say next to "Oh my G*d", and cuss words (such as the F word and the B word, and he does know what those are AND how to spell them). Well this really is just a trial run so I will close now and try and figure out what the... wait a minute, try and figure out what I've created.